Daring to answer what I want

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Recently I was asked, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I want a lot of things,

  • My shower to be fixed in the master bedroom
  • The windshield in my car to be repaired
  • Debt to be paid off
  • Family to be together

But I realized all of those things were related to current or past issues that need to be 'dealt' with.

So what do I want for my future?

I've hesitated to answer that question.

There were times in my past that I was pretty clear what I wanted. I knew what my design was and I believed with all my heart that I was in the right place and the right time doing the right stuff.

Then I wasn't!

Or I couldn't.

So I quit.

I quit doing.  I started being. 
I quit dreaming and just took time to breathe, and live and love. 

I was just starting to dream again when Leisha died. Then I struggled to breathe and survive, let alone have any sense that there was a future to dream about. My head knew there must be something more, but my heart and body at times felt only death.

Now finally 12 years later, I am ready to dream again. 

No, not everyone takes as long as me. Yet there are people who never get to that place where they dare to dream. But  this isn't about them - right? The question isn't what do THEY want.


I started the process of answering that for myself and found myself a bit stymied.

My immediate thought was I wanted what SHE has  (I know, I know.  Again I am comparing myself) until I imagined myself in her shoes and I found myself shaking in my boots. 

No, I do not want what she has. Even if I could get it- which I really don't want to do what she had to do to make it happen- once I got there I would be miserable.  What she does is so out of character for who I am and what I love to do.


I want… hmm?...more!

I want to make a difference in my world-  just like most women I work with long to do.

For me that means being able…

  • To make connections with people where it matters
  • To be of service to my world
  • To generate Income that not only pays bills but provides for the dreams

I want a…

  • A platform to share the message God has given me
  • Platform- could be a raised stage to stand on
  • But it is also so an opportunity to voice one's views or initiate action.
    • It could be one on one,  small group, workshop, retreat,
    • It could be virtual, online community
    • It could be written on web or print
    • It could be video - recorded or live
    • On my website, my social media platforms,
    • Over the phone, internet or in person

I want to be a...

  • Great wife and lover
  • A gracious mom and mother in law
  • And grateful daughter, sister and friend

I want to be a leader...

  • In worship
  • In noticing
  • In transformation
  • In hope

I want to...

  • Wake up with purpose
  • Work hard with intentionality
  • Create ways to have fun
  • Sleep peacefully

I want to know health and be full of vitality and life.

And know wealth and be grateful and generous.

I want to...








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I want a lot.  I want MORE.

Now what do I do with this list of wants?

What is keeping me from having what I want? Or even pursuing what I want?

Are my wants what God wants for me?
I guess I have some more pondering to do.

We'll talk about that in another post.

How about you?
What do you want?
What keeps you from wanting? 
What keeps you from going after what you want?