I woke- heart racing, gut aching, the emotions I still felt were intense, striking at the very core of who I am. But I was baffled by the meaning of my sub-conscious thoughts turned into vivid detail.
I have just given birth to a baby, a second child. As I watched the older child, a girl of about 7, reading a story book in the corner of the nursery, I sat cuddling this WEE ONE in 'swaddling' blankets. We had just brought the baby home and I was enjoying a moment of just being with her without the busyness of hospital staff or well wishers.
I looked at her sleeping in my arms so perfect, so little, so beautiful. I glanced up at the 7 year old, listened to the serious story she just must tell, and looked back down again at the WEE ONE.
Something had changed. She was awake, yes, but it was more than that. She was... bigger.
Her arms and feet were struggling to be free of the blankets wrapped to keep her secure. She kicked free- and she was - BIGGER. I blinked my eyes to be sure I wasn't imagining this. She looked at me with the eye sight of a much older baby; very aware of my face and my words.
In what seemed like seconds, and it very well may have been, she began to roll over in my lap to see what her sister was doing. Soon she wanted down and went from sitting, to crawling, to walking right before my eyes.
My gut felt sick. What was happening? Something is wrong. She seems perfectly healthy, and yet no child grows this much, this fast. Was there something wrong with me? Could I be losing all sense of time, or reality.
Rennie came home- walked in the door, hugged the older daughter and asked where the baby was. I opened the door of her room and there playing in the corner was a elementary aged girl, looking much older now, playing and exploring and reading to her sister.
Ren looked back at me. Ok! What's the joke? She looks like she could be one of ours, but....!
I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say. I woke up - heart racing, gut aching, barely breathing.
I know! It's just a dream.
But I have often come to understand the my dreams often tell me what my mind hasn't been able to put into words. They don't all have significance, but I knew from my physical response, this one most likely did.
At first, I thought of our three girls. Could this have to do with them? But nothing seemed to ring true there.
Then just as simply as the words are flowing to this post now, the image came very clear.
The baby I held in my arms was this website (kathyburrus.com). She is my "second' child, following the older sister (greenhopecoaching.com).
This one is very curious about all she can learn about who she is and what she can do, the other is intent on digging into her story.
This one is softer colors, more active, more joyful. The other is more serious, full of depth and the seeking of hope.
I have been struggling to let this baby (kathyburrus.com) out of the swaddling cloths to explore her surroundings. I was afraid to let her grow at her own speed. I kept her underwraps for much longer than anticipated.
Well...It's time to unwrap the baby! My friends, I'd like to introduce you to ...
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